Stars

So, I have an angel, he was my soul mate, but he's my angel now. His name was Jesse. He was my perfect angel. Sadly though, he left this world on July 7, 2009. Anyhow, Jesse was really different from other guys. He was wise for his meager 15 years of age. He left me with a lot of good memories, memories that would keep me strong. I don't remember everything word for word but this is basically what I've been remembering lately...

Setting: Lying down on the grass in my back yard in the states seven or so years ago... Starry night in Spanaway, Washington.

Jesse: Anna, do you know what stars are?
Anna: Big rocks in the sky?
Jesse: -Laughs softly- Nope.
Anna: Then what are they Jesse?
Jesse: They're angels.
Anna: Angels?
Jesse: Yep, angels.
Anna: Explain?
Jesse: Well, you know that when people die, they go to heaven, right?
Anna: Yep.
Jesse: But sometimes these people are sad to leave and they want to keep watch of the people that they love and care for. But they also want the people they're caring for to know that they are watching. So these angels went to God and asked Him and talked to Him about this. God smiled at the thought, and though He already had stars in the sky, He decided to change things a bit. He gave the angels permission to shine brightly and watch over their loved ones. You know that they're different from stars because when you look at them, they twinkle, like they're winking or waving at you. That's why you feel so good when you feel stars. You just can't help but to feel good because they're making you happy without you knowing it!
Anna: Oh...!
Jesse: But you want to know something sad?
Anna: Uhm, okay?
Jesse: -Deep sigh- My gram told me that sometimes its hard for the angels to see us now.
Anna: Why?
Jesse: Because she told me that the pollution is covering up the sky and making it hard to see us.
Anna: Oh... Jesse?
Jesse: Hmm?
Anna: When we go up there, we're going to be stars too, right?
Jesse: Yeah!
Anna: And... If one of us leaves earlier than the other... We'll watch over each others no matter what... Right?
Jesse: ... Of course, if I leave a little earlier I'll watch over you and keep you from hurting and I'll do my best to help God keep the devil away from you. You'll do the same for me too... Right?
Anna: Of course I will!
Jesse: Want to write a promise and put it in the box?
Anna: Oh wow! That'd be awesome!

We ran into the house and I remember us going crazy trying to find the paper and right color to write the promise in. We chose blue in the end. Why? Well, because at the time, Jesse and I both liked blue, and the sky is usually blue. We wrote it and put it in our little time capsule. The one that is still burried in my back yard under our cherry tree.

But lately I wonder if the promise still applies... Like our many promises, this one seems to be fading... There's been so much hardship that I wonder that maybe he forgot me up there in heaven. Or maybe he's just waiting for God's permission to help because God is putting me through a test. Whatever it is... I miss Jesse... And its too bad he's not here, because if he were, I'm sure he'd know what to do. He always did back then, and he probably would if he were still alive now.

BANannaMEMORY